Revision

My new strategy for adjusting my research paper begins with understanding how the public views and judges Will Ferrell's website. Seeing the pros and cons from the publics view. I am planning on making my tone more pursuasive and energetic. This tone being towards promoting funnyordie.com.

Revision

My strategy for revising my research paper is going to be to look in depth and analyze the information that I found. I am going to change my tone to more of a laid back point of view, and focus on different parts of my paper rather than going in depth in certain areas.

Revision

When I revise my academic essay for public view, I will make my argument shorter and more precise. I can sound more passionate and use more direct quotes toward my argument. I will please the reader and also convey a strong point.

Revision

For changing my essay to a public audience I will need to change my tone from informative and unbiased to focusing on specific companies and how they use their facebook pages for advertising; how effective they are and what trends seem annoying or effective. My argument will be less informative to the reader, and more focused on public reaction to their advertisements (annoyed, enthused, impressed, etc). My use of evidence will shift from showing a companies use of facebook to how their presence on facebook is viewed by facebook users.

Revising Essay

I plan on revising my essay by taking the information that I feel most comfortable with. I want to be very close to my article and use some of my previous experiences that I have been through. A lot of my information is closely related so I can decrease my information drastically. I want to be more persuasive and have a closer connection with my audience.

Revision

My strategy for revising my paper is to take the information I have and only use the important stuff. Not all the info that seems to be said multiply times through out the paper. After that I will look for more opinions to add to the paper so it sounds more convincing to my audience. I still want to remain a little neutral so I don't lose all of my credibility. I plan to try to convince people that most rappers don't live the life they rap about.

My strategy for revising my essay for a public audience would be to get rid of all of the terms that seem repetitive. I plan to shift my argument and try to become more persuasive. l believe my evidence was factual but I might look for some more resources. Im going to try to persuade the audience that marketability is based on an athletes actions on and off the field.

Revision

My strategy for revising my paper is not have my tone sound as bias, instead of having more a pathos tone im going to make my paper have more of an ethos tone to it. Im also going to try to reach out to another audience. With my orginal paper i feel as though it was speaking to an audience of people who are Lady Gaga fans, i want to speak to more of a general audience.

revision

Some key revisions that i plan on making on my acedmic essay are to try to make it a little less information based and try to humorous. This will hopefully appeal to a wider audience. I also am going shift my argument to tell more about my personal experience with tosh.o and why i love it so much. I'm going to use less secondary evidence and more personal evidence.

Revision

My strategy for revising my academic essay for a public audience would be to get rid of all of the repetitive terms and sentences. I plan to shift my argument and tone by having it become more persuasive. My evidence will be more factual. I will use stronger words to make the audience think the same about the Westboro Baptist Church as I do, which I am sure there aren't that many people out there that agree with them.

The way I plan to revise my paper is to take information that describes the commercials and add more opinions. I plan to tell the reader what I like about the adds and why I think they are successful adds. I think I will also describe the product and tell the reader why I like Under Armour.

Revision

My stategy for my revised paper is to get rid of any wordiness and take out information to shorten my paper. The tone and language will be more persuasive and more opinion based. Also, i will try to condense my evidence, but yet still provide strong evidence.

revision

I think the way I am going to revise my academic essay, is to change my tone into a pathos point of view. I don't know what my main argument will be yet, but I think I want to use that tone, to be more persuasive in my revised essay.

Revision of Academic Essay

My strategy for revising my academic essay will mainly consist of shortening the length by getting rid of the dense amount of information that I provided. Instead of informational pieces, I will include opinion based ideas that my audience will be able to relate to. I will approach my readers with an informed tone, one that will help convince readers that social media has gained large amounts of use by professional athletes. I will also use a few examples, but ones that are very strong and compelling.

academic essay revision

My plan for revising my academic essay into a persuasive essay is to use my evidence for social influence in sororities and put it in my own opinion. I will write it so my audience understands the situation completely and can feel sympathetic towards the situation. My evidence for my argument will set the factual tone of my essay. I will use pathos-centered appeal and logo-centered appeal in my essay.

Revising Strategy

For my revised paper, I will take out much of my information to shorten my paper. The tone and language will be much less formal and more personalized that my first draft. I will take out some of the fact-based content and add more opinion-based content. My paper focuses on how the fashion industry has been altered by the use of social media, and my revised paper will focus a bit more on how it will continue in the future as well.

Revising Strategy

My strategy to revise my claim-based paper for a public audience is to change the tone of my paper to be more persuasive. My claim-based paper was focused on how Perez Hilton creates controversies on his website to keep himself famous. In order to revise this paper for a public audience, I am going to focus more on how the crude things he says about people on his website could make his younger audience feel as though they are able to say rude things about people on their websites (e.g facebook, twitter) which could potentially be a cause for a current on-going problem of online bullying.

Revising

When I start to revise my research paper to a persuasive essay for a public audience, I will edit out much of the information and insert some opinion related information. I will also add persuasive language to help my audience see my point of view. I will keep my argument the same from how athletes cause a negative perception on themselves but I will add different evidence to help put my point across. I will add evidence such as statistics and use athletes persona as a negative effect to help my paper.

McDonalds

After research, I am thinking of switching from talking about health food to talking about the charities McDonald's has and what they do. Instead of being against McDonalds because of their food I am thinking of supporting them do to what they do for the community.

Research Paper Revision

When revising my academic essay for the pulic audience, I plan on shifting my essay from a informative to a persuasive tone. I'm not exactly sure what my main arguement is going to be, but I plan on mentioning why the songs on The American Top Forty are better than others. I plan on using parts of the auto-tuning evidence and direct quotes from the Top Forty songs in my academic essay to prove my point.

Public Audience Revision

My plan for revising my essay, is to set the paper up to be more question based, rather than claim based. Rather than telling people how much Independent music and other genres have gained from the social media explosion, I want people to think about how much their personal taste in music and how much it has changed and grown over the years. I believe it will be much more effective as a way of giving everyone an understanding of how much the music scene has grown.

Academic Essay Revising

My strategy for revising my academic essay for a public audience will be re-word my essay so that it is persuasive to its readers. I will put in more persuasive words that allow the reader to see my essay from my point of view, and see what I think. I plan to shift my tone be stating more facts. I will argue that filming your own hunt is that best way to show that a hunt is successful. I will use evidence from professional hunters and use thier opinion and facts.

Kanye West Rippin on the gold diggers

Kanye West posted on his twitter trashing "gold digging b**ches" and abortion

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/24/kanye-west-abortions_n_827593.html

Blockhead: The Music Scene (music video)

Social Network

The movie Social Network addresses identity and social media directly. The character of Mark Zuckerburg doesn't change the entire movie however his best friend is suing him and Justin Timberlake's character is the snake in the movie. Social Media is obviously the theme of the movie in that it can change someone's life forever.

The Social Network

I found the Social Network to be an extremely good movie. I love how the movie shows exactly how facebook was thought of and created from the beginning until the end. I never knew anything about the legal aspects behind facebook or that there were so many parties involved. The fact that the site is estimated to be worth over 25 billion dollars is very surprising. All in all i really enjoyed the movie.

Social Network

I found that the Social Network to be a very interesting movie. I wasn't sure how well I would like the movie but found it intriguing. I was surprised about the whole legal case that was over Facebook. This movie showed how important Social media is to society and how fast word travels. It proves you always need to watch your image because everything can be written about you. For example, Sean Parker being a part owner in Facebook was arrested for trying to have a good time but also could business.

Facebook

The Social Network was a surprisingly good movie, I wasnt sure how it was going to be but I liked it. I liked how the story was layed out and I noticed how important it was to Mark, the main character to maintain an important imagine for the company, like when Edwardo was charged with abusing animals.

The Social Network

I thought that the movie was very good. I noticed that there was a lot of information on how facebook really got started. I didnt know that there was such a legal case over the ownership though. On the other hand all the money that he had to dish out for legal payment seemed like pocket change compared to the 25 billion dollars that Facebook is worth.

The social network

For being the second time seeing this movie, I am still enjoying it. Seeing how Facebook was created, and all the work that went into making it a success, is interesting to me. The story behind Facebook turned out to be complicated. Before this movie I would have never thought that creating a social website could be so stressful. This movie shows how important social media is to society, and how fast information on the web travels. The first night that Mark made the hot or not website to compare girls on the Harvard campus, that night there was a large number of viewers. Seeing that confirmed how popular social media truly is.

The Social Network

This movie has incorporated social media very well. The whole movie is about a young mans journey to succeed in making a billion dollar website that allows users to make and design their own page that describes them in their own way. For example the movie shows how the founders of the website facebook.com came up with the ideas of "friending" people and by allowing to show your relationship status.

The Social Network

So far I really enjoy this movie. I have never seen it before but I really wanted to see it when it was in theaters. I find it really interesting to see what happened behind the making of the social network that we all know and love! I really would like to see how Justin's character plays into the making of Facebook. They are all so smart and it is awesome to see someone so young make a product that is probably one of the most popular things to use today.

The social network

This movie is great. I have seen it before and liked it a lot. I really think they do a good job portraying the how this social networks came to be. It is interesting to see the thought behind the sit and how they new it would change the world. I did wounder how accurate some of it is though because Mark Zuckerberg seems to be completely innocent which is probably not the case. But I am looking forward to the end of the movie.

The Social Network

The Social Network is really interesting so far. I am looking forward to see how the founder of Napster plays into making Facebook and if he does contribute anything or not. I have never seen this movie until our class so im not real sure what too expect, but i like how they show Mark in the film as kind of a narcissistic prick. Its amazing to be how someone can show ones identity is established based on a social networking site, for example someone how just got into a relationship, isnt really in a relationship until they are "facebook offical".

The Social Network

So far the Social Network has been all it has hyped up to be. Its amazing to think how much craziness was involved in creating a site that mostly all of its users take for granted. I am interested in seeing how Sean Parker plays into the launch of the Facebook and what impact he will have. My biggest question overall is whose perspective is this movie written from? Was Mark Zuckerburg really as innocent as he is portrayed?

The Social Network

The Social Network shows the importance of social networking and the reasons why social network has become such a rapid phenomenon. All of the characters realized the potential of Facebook and social networking, which makes the movie so interesting and competitive. It's crazy to think how a site, such as Facebook, can totally transform our world and the connections that we have with one another, and The Social Network really shows that.

The Social Network

The first ten minutes of watching The Social Network in class on friday had me hooked. There was so much going on and it was so incredibly fascinating to me. Mark Zuckerberg is such an intelligent man creating all of this technology moving at such fast speeds. He has created one of the number one sources of social media in the entire world, connecting with so many various countries. He just keeps thinking of new ideas keeping everyone hooked to the thought of how else is social media going to expand through facebook? Im so excited to see what happens next.

The Social Network

Unfortunately, I missed class on Friday, so I did not get to see the first part of the movie we are watching. I've never seen The Social Network but I am excited to! What I already know about the movie is that it is about the creator of Facebook, and the issues and struggles it took to make Facebook into what it is today! The film sounds very interesting, and I can't wait to start watching in class tomorrow!

The Social Network

The movie is incredibly interesting, because the movie is based on events that actually occurred. I also enjoy how witty Mark is, and I also like the snide remarks he makes to other people. He likes to show that he is more intellectually sound than everyone else, and I find it comical. The movie shows how fast information is passed through the use of the internet, even six and seven years ago. The film also shows how people enjoy the idea of being able to make an online identity for themselves on Facebook, and demonstrates why these social networking sites are so popular.

The Social Network

The Social Network is a movie that explains how one of the fastest growing social media networks began. It explains why technology is moving foward at such a fast pace because everybody is able to access it. People are addicted to the idea of being connected to the world at all times, and getting the latest news and gossip. The Social Network is interesting because it makes the world question how accessable personal information is on the internet. Within a matter of minutes he was able to access other students accounts and files. Socail Media is one of the most popular tools of our generation, but it is constantly expanding and changing over short periods of times creating the constant question of , "Whats next?".

The Social Network

So far the movie has been really intriguing to me because of how facebook was created if the movie holds most of the facts. It's crazy how facebook actually started and how the technology back then could create such an amazing website. It all began with an idea about identity because Mark wanted to create something where you can see what your friends are up to and know about their information.

The Social Network

I liked the movie mainly because it was a true story. I really liked how it showed how the company was created and how it grew to one of todays most used sites. What I thought was weird was how Mark wasn't even trying to create a business but something to help him gain respect from his peers and then the site grew beyond what anyone was expecting.

Social Identity

I love the movie so far and it is so amazing to see how something can affect your life so much. Mark was so interested in becoming a member of an elite club that he created the world's most popular web-site to gain attention. I feel that he never wanted Facebook to be like it is today but he just wanted the respect and notice from peers around him.

The Social Network

What I found most interesting about The Social Network was how much trouble Mark went through with the creation of facebook. With all the legal issues I find it unbelievable that facbook still exists and is thriving. The movie shows that facebook was just as addicting as it is today years later after the creation of the site. So far I really like the movie.

The Social Network

The Social Network has been very interesting so far. I liked how the movie was presented in a flashback fashion. The movie did a great job showing how social media, such as videos or even a new website, can spread throughout the internet very quickly. This was shown in the scenes where Mark launches Facemash and The Facebook. It was very interesting to learn about the whole legal issue of Facebook and how the website spread throughout the world.

The Social Network

I found it really interesting to see how Mark put the page together and how he got the idea for every detail of the page. For example, when his friend asked if he knew if a girl was in a relationship, he right then got the idea to put a relationship status onto his new website, facebook. Also I had no idea that his first idea was the "which girl is hotter", I thought that was an idea he had after he created facebook. Also, I found it so interesting to hear how many people were signed up to facebook in one day.

Secondary Source

Michael Jones. "Breaking Free From the Westboro Baptist Church's C." June 08, 2010. Change.org. January 39, 2011 .

The article is about Westboro Baptist Church and how they treat the children in the group.

Secondary Source

Chatzky, Jean. “LET THE EBUYER BEWARE.” Time 167.15 (2006): 84. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 31 Jan. 2011.

This article is completely about internet-related money scams. It uses a young woman searching and ‘buying’ a wedding dress as an example. A vast abundance of cyber shoppers just get ‘too excited’ and they foolishly agree to wire money from a bank location to the ‘seller’- and never receive the product at all. The article then moves forward by listing and explaining some do’s and don’ts of purchasing merchandise online. It is also stated that more than 724,000 Americans use selling on eBay as their primary or secondary source of income.

Secondary Source Assignment

Berbary, Lisbeth A."Poststructural Winterly Representation: Screenplay as Creative Analytical Practice."Qualitative Inquiry 17.2 (2011): 186-196.Web. 31 Jan 2011.

I was not able to copy and paste my paragraph so I will give you a breif overview of this source. Lisbeth researched girls in a Southern Sorority to find how they fit in with thier social expectations and situations. My topic is Sorority life verses normal student life and this helped me better understand sorority situations.

http://journals.ohiolink.edu/ejc/article.cgi?issn=10778004&issue=v17i0002&article=186_pwrsacap&search_term=%28keyword%3D%28sorority%29%29

secondary source

Armstrong, Edward. "Gangsta Misogyny: A content Analysisof the portrayals of violence agienst women in rap music, 1987-1993." Journal of criminal justice and popular culture 8,2 (2001), 96-126.web 27 Jan 2011 http://www.albany.edu/scj/jcjpc/vol8is2/armstrong.html.

http://Muncie, Robert. "You Want to Film Hunts." Whitetail Affliction. Web. 30 Jan. 2011. .


This source was published by Robert Muncie. He gave a great amount of detail on filming your own hunt. This was probably one of the best sources that I hace ever come across. There was so much information given on what to d when filming your own hunts. Muncie says that practice is key. He states that if you practice filming, then when the moment come to get that kill on camera you will be ready. It was very helpful in gathering information on my project

Taylor Swift

One of the secondary sources I used was from the New York Times. The article was very insightful and gave information that was perfect for my topic. The article sums up Taylor Swift's breakthrough career and compairs her use of social media to other musical artists. Not that many country music artists have used social media like Taylor Swift has, which is one of the reasons she has such a large following.

"She has aggressively used online social media networks such as Myspace, to stay connected with her young audience, in that way, while typical in rock and hip-hop artists, is proving to be revolutionary in country music" (New York Times 1).

Perez Hilton

Greer, Michelle. “Why celebrities should take social media seriously.”

Social media and society. 8 January 2009. Web. 30 January 2011.

In this article, the author’s primary focus is on the fact that where celebs go, their fans follow. So many people these days are so concerned with every move that their favorite celebs make. Social media has created numerous ways to make it easier for fans to locate and figure where and what celebs are doing. Celebs also use social media to help promote themselves to their fans. This website will help me focus on the power of social media, and the determination of fans to find out everything about their favorite celeb.

Secondary Source

I used most of my secondary sources from Mashable. They relate to how social media has altered the fashion indsutry, which is my topic. My article, "How the Fashion Industry is Embracing Social Media" covers all areas of the industry affected by the use of social media. It also included quotations from fashion experts, social media experts, and high fashion designers which supported my topic.

Prabhakar, Hitha. "How the Fashion Industry is Embracing Social Media." Mashable. Feb 13, 2010. Jan 27, 2011.

Kharakh, Ben. "Entertainment News/Starpulse.com" Entertainment News/Entertainment Photos/Entertainment Videos/Starpulse.com. 23 Jan. 2008. Web 07 Feb. 2011. http://www.starpulse.com

This secondary source was very helpful to me because of the direct information about funnyordie.com along with the first hand quotes from Will Ferrell. I am trying to show the way that Will is portrayed through his site along with through social media. This article is perfect for helping the viewer understand the details about funnyordie.com along with how the idea for how the site was started. After reading this article I now better understand why Will has made this site along with the purposes it serves for the viewer.

Perez Hilton

Denizet-Lewis, Benoit. "Pick a Hand..." Advocate no. 1029 (2009), 58-62.

I found this article through the EBSCO Database. This article has been really helpful to me, first of all because it is five pages long. It has a lot of information for me to use. The article gives some background information on Perez which is helpful to me to see how he began his website and what kind of person he is outside of his website. Also the article describes many of the different controversies that Perez created from his website which is good for me because my paper is about the controversies between Perez and the celebrities he talks about on his website. Along with good information, this article contains many good direct quotes from Perez that I have found useful to put into my paper.

Lady Gaga and her fame through Social Media

"The central objective of this course will be to unravel the sociological relevant dimensions of the fame of Lady Gaga" - Mathiew Deflem, Professor of Sociology at The University of South Carolina.

I found an aritcle by Ty Tagami written about how Lady Gaga has an academic course strcitly for her at the University of South Carolina. Its called Lady Gaga and the sociology to fame. Interestingly enough the professor of this course teaches the sociological aspect of her rise to fame and how she got to where she is now. Alot of her climb to fame was through a social media aspect and when she did reach fame her social media sites went out of control.

A Content Analysis of Rap Music Videos

Conrad, Kate;Dixon, Travis L.;Zhang, Yuanyuan. "Controversial Rap Themes, Gender Portrayals and Skin Tone Distortion: A Content Analysis of Rap Music Videos." Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media 53.1 (2009), 134-156.

This first article of research I have chosen to analyze is about rap music and the controversy and meaning of rap videos. The article researches the images of how male images are more Afrocentric and how women are portrayed as more Eurocentric. This article looks at the idea of the black community as it is expressing itself in rap videos and how the audience reacts to these abnormalities. Rap has influenced a lifestyle change that can be clearly seen through the analysis of the product they produce. This product of visual art along with the musical lyrics is defined in this article and gives the reader knowledge on how the predominantly black Rap industry gains a large quantity of Caucasian listeners.

Athletes and Twitter

Corazza, Ryan. "Social Media Is No Threat, It's an Aid to Reporters -- Reporting from the Jock-o-sphere - ESPN." ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sports. Web. 07 Feb. 2011. .

This source is a blog from the "Jock-o-Sphere," which is a site located on ESPN where sports writers contribute to about certain topics. This specific blog pertains to the idea that social media should no longer be considered a threat to athletes. The article insists that athletes should use social media to their advantage by creating a better image for themselves. It also explains how social media is the future of sports news coverage.

Athletes Negative Reputation

Wojciechowski, Gene. "Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger Have Taken Parallel Paths through Their Falls from Grace and Subsequent Climbs Back to the Top of the NFL. - ESPN." ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sports. 14 Dec. 2010. Web. 07 Feb. 2011.

This article is about how Gene Wojciechowski describes the different parallels of Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger because of their controversial decision making. This article helps my topic by describing what troubles these superstar athletes went through causing their image and reputation to be tarnished at that point of their respected careers. But he also states that even though their image is hurting they can always gain it back by earning people's respect and trust back.

Under Armour

Rovell, Darren. “National Championship Stakes for Nike and Under Armour.” CNBC 10 Jan 2011. Web>

http://www.cnbc.com/id/41000858/National_Championship_Stakes_For_Nike_Under_Armour

This article describes how different companies sign athletes and celebrities not only to have them promote their own product but to keep them from promoting other products. Such as Nike signing athletes to keep Under Armour from getting them.

Problems equal No Marketability

CNBC.com's Darren Rovell wrote Roethlisberger's "off-the-field troubles have completely taken him out of the marketing game."

This article I found on SportsBusinessDaily.com explains how athlete's off-the field actions cause them to become unmarketable. It also gives information about which athletes are more marketable than others. In addition, who companies target as an audience.

How Bad Can It Be?

An article I found by John Robbins was very interesting, he was apart of the team that dealt with Mr. Spurlock, the man who ate McDonald's for a month straight. It described how his health deteriorated. He is living proof of what fast food can do to your body. He provides insight on the ingredients put in food and how it affects your body.




Robbins, John. "How Bad Is McDonald's Food?" Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post. Web. 30 Jan. 2011. .

Nike

Veloso, Bryan. "The Quick History of Nike, Nike Advertising and Nike Brands « Americana Persona." Americana Persona. Web. 28 Jan. 2011.

http://americanapersona.wordpress.com/2008/05/27/the-quick-history-of-nike-nike-advertising-and-nike-brands/

.

The article describes the basic history of the company. It is very focused in the famous people and celebrities that Nike has had endorse their products. The most successful one of all was Michael Jordan. Nike has been probably one of the most successful companies to utilize the use of endorsements.

Businesses use of Social Media

Horovitz, Bruce. "Big Marketers Try Social-Media-only Promotions." Academic Search Complete. EBSCO, 10 May 2010. Web. 28 Jan. 2011. <http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?hid=22&sid=234be0da-6da7-40b3-a317-20fc31826400%40sessionmgr12&vid=1&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=J0E243539408310>.

This is an article that i found on ebsco host about how big name companies use facebook for marketing and feedback. the author talks about mountain dew (Pepsi corporation) used facebook to develop their "fan Dew-monium" campaign to let fans pick the new 'dew' flavors.

Wiredprnews

I a writing about how social media affects the music industry. The Wired Press Release News has a good article about how MySpace has changed the music landscape. It surged the shift to online music purchasing with iTunes and how people and record labels are using social media to find new talent.
http://www.wiredprnews.com/2008/09/26/my-space-making-an-impact-on-the-digital-music-scene_20080926771.html

Will Ferrell

The topic of my research project is Will Ferrell and his website funnyordie.com. The priimary source that I will be using is funnyordie.com along with direct quotes from Will Ferrell and other actors who have used his site. The purpose for this project is to show how Will uses his site for popularity and sharing movies and photos. Along with how he portrays himself to the public. My ideal audience would be anyone interest in Will Ferrell or comedy in general.

Taylor Swift

The topic of my research project is going to be Taylor Swift's effect on teenage girls, and how she uses social media to promote her "average teenage girl" image. The propose of me writing this, is because I think it is interesting how popular Taylor Swift actually is, and how she is seen in the public eye. The ideal audience for my paper would be the demographic that listens to Taylor Swift.